Ways to Stop Divorce

Marriage is tough. Marriage is hard work. Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses, but often, it is worth saving.

If you are having marital problems and want things to work out, then you need advice on ways to stop divorce from happening.

Whether you have been married for decades or for a few short years, you have probably gone through both the good times as well as the bad. You know that all marriages hit rough patches, but you need to remember that although the American divorce rate is at an all-time high of approximately 50%, half of all marriages can and do “make it”. Is your marriage going to fall into the half that “makes it”, or the half that doesn’t?

One of the ways to stop divorce from happening is to be very clear on what you value as an individual. Do you value partnership and sharing, or do you consider yourself to be more of a separate entity, apart from your spouse? In other words, do you consider yourself to be one half of the greater whole, or not? Be honest with yourself about how you really see your life in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years: are you single, or are you still married? Are you happy?

The next way to stop divorce is to truly understand your spouse and his/her values. Does you partner still want a life as part of your marital “team”? Has your spouse been unhappy in your marriage for a long time, or is his/her discontentment a relatively new situation? Does your spouse have stresses at work or in some other part of his/her life that are adversly affecting your marriage? Only once you really understand where your spouse is coming from can you start to stop divorce.

Talk to your spouse openly and honestly. Things may be difficult between you now, but there was a time when you two could tell each other anything. You have shared the highest highs and the lowest lows together, so put your pride aside and tell your spouse how you really feel about the prospect of getting divorced. This is a two way street; you need to be open and really listen to your spouse’s point of view and feelings on the situation in return. If you two talk and decide that you still love and respect each other, then you need to take it slowly. There is no limit to how long it takes to save a marriage. There is no time frame for how long it takes to get things back on track.

If you are already separated, then assess your situation as it stands. Are you seeing much of each other right now? If not, then it’s the perfect time to “start from scratch”. That’s right: start dating your spouse again! Set up a date night once a week at first. Make a rule that your biggest bones of contention — your hottest buttons that always start arguements — are strictly off limits. Your dates need to be held in public places. Go out! Go to a movie, go to a restaurant. Go to places that you two are forced to act appropriately and civilly!

If you already see a lot of each other (perhaps you are parents to young children and are always in contact in regard to them) then put the brakes on it. Spend more time apart, but when you are together, the same rules as above apply. Set up regular dates and have a strict moratorium on hot button issues.

It is always possible to find ways to stop divorce. No matter what has happened to make your relationship suffer, things can be fixed as long as the love between you remains.

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