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Relationships Are Lovely

Tuesday, 30. November 2010 21:04

Relationships are lovely as long as they last. And a relationship breakup can happen. We’ve been fed stories about the “lived happily ever after” since our childhood. So we find it difficult to accept break-ups at personal level. It can happen to others, but it can’t happen to us. That is the general attitude. Oh, but it can. And that is what everybody needs to face.

I do, however, feel that we should not be the cause for the break down in any relationship. This is the least we can do. Every relationship that breaks down creates some level of toxicity in the person who has been hurt in the process. That toxicity is periodically spewed at other unsuspecting souls, who become unhappy and in process may utter something that damages their relationships. The process goes on. Eventually, we could be at the receiving end of the snowball effect. So identifying the problem correctly, and being correct in our behavior makes a lot of difference to the relationship as well as the world.

Generally, people get bored in relationships. So here was a boy and a girl, they met, and fell head over heels in love. They dated, and eventually got married. Thereafter, there are no more chapters to follow, and the boy and the girl are obviously confused about how they are supposed to go on from there. They want something new, and exciting but don’t know what. They feel cheated because they’ve been promised something great; everything that was left open to conjecture. This is when they try everything very rapidly, and find nothing is giving them the kick. So boredom sets in. This is compounded by the time on their hands. They feel this relationship is not the right one for them, so they need to look elsewhere for solutions. Creating a relationship breakup.

The truth is all relationships are alike. It is the frame of mind that makes the difference. By the time the person starts a second relationship, he or she would have taken a few lessons from the first relationship. These come handy in ironing out a few problems till some dissatisfaction takes over. It doesn’t mean that the relationships that last longer are essentially due to excellent chemistry. It means that they were wiser to accept that there would be crests and troughs in their relationships. They chose to moderate their feelings so that the impact of trough phase was minimal. This they did by finding another objective that they were passionate about. Note I mentioned objective and not another partner.

This perhaps is the reason Bill and Melinda Gates click well together. This is also the reason Hillary Clinton’s marriage survived the storm. We’ve all had it easy. Our parents have given us homes, and incomes. So we do not have to struggle. But that deprives us with something to be passionate about. In the previous generations, the relationships lasted longer partly because they had to overcome the financial hardships. We don’t. This makes our relationships more fragile.

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Surviving A Breakup – The Important Thing When Surviving Devastating Relationship Breakup

Tuesday, 8. December 2009 21:40

What if you could recapture your ex lovers mind, heart and soul? Wipe the slate clean? Turn back time? Even if you feel right now that your situation is too far gone…too screwed up …or just plain too darn complicated?

You already know how hard it is to just even wake up and roll out of bed in the morning. You leave your radio off on your way to work because every song is a painful reminder of him. You can’t even bear to eat at the same restaurants you took her to. And if that isn’t bad enough, you have to cope with the loss of friends and family that are on “their side”.

This sounds like a disease doesn’t it, well you know it is, it’s a disease that has been with us since the beginning of time and it is a disease that will be about just as long as there are the two sexes, as long as there are lovers, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and married couples It can start at school or anytime through our life, there are no doubt cases in retirement homes.
There are lots of names for this very distressing happening, but it occurs when loving couples part. For a variety of reasons and can be very hard when one partner wants the other one back, and that occurs most of the time.

“I WANT MY EX BACK” comes the cry! “I have tried, I have pleaded, I keep calling”…and so on it goes…Hey what this person needs is help and advice and it is available…Let me tell you a little of what I found out…I was lucky enough to find a book on this very subject. It is called “The Magic of Making up” It’s not the only one available, but I did find it very interesting.

Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you can imagine…like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years!

As we read we are let into a really easy to follow… love recipe for “getting back together” and are told by the author…”again I forewarn you right now…these are techniques and strategies that are NOT conventional wisdom…and I doubt you have ever read or heard these techniques before.”

Now, if you are reading this article with me here today, I am guessing you have “relationship troubles” too? If you do…I think I can help…

Do you have these symptoms?

-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them

…and when you do get a hold of them, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C…defensiveness…arguments…and then it gets really nasty.
If YOU DO have those symptoms believe me you are not alone and help is available

If you want to get your ex back, you must do something about it. The longer you leave it the harder it will become.

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Relationship Breakups – This Is How To Get Over The Two Main Causes Of Relationship Breakups

Monday, 7. December 2009 19:05

Relationship breakups are big thing in the lives of those that have it happening right now.

It has happened right through the ages, starts with teenagers and goes through to the latter years of one’s life, but there are several types of breakups, some far more serious than others.

In this article I want to focus on the more serious relationship breakups, the ones that have happened after years together and most probably with children from the union. I hope it will be of benefit to my readers.

There are a lot of articles that tell us we must find the cause of the break up and then fix it so we can get back together and be happy again. Sounds easy doesn’t it? Well I am here to tell you it is not easy.

So let’s find the cause of the relationship breakup; in 98% of serious breakups there is only one of two causes, in a lot of cases it may be both of them. They are lack of love and or lack of money. The two greatest needs for the human species are food and reproduction, as soon as or when we are denied these there is the beginning of trouble.
Let’s take them one at a time.

Lack of Love… Let’s call a spade a spade shall we? Relationship breakups almost always start in the bedroom. One partner needs sex more than the other, the heady days of early love does not last, and maybe children come along and call for more attention, perhaps overwork make for tiredness. The reasons for not wanting enough sex to suit your partner can be many. But the fact remains that it causes arguments developing into outright rows. It causes resentment and depression and couples start to drift apart. In a lot of cases they drift apart without being conscience of it.

Men and women don’t go with someone else because they are better looking; they go because they think they are going to get something they are not getting at home. Discontented women are easy prey for a charming man and “available” looking women will have no trouble in getting a man that is not being loved at home. This is fact; it’s happening all of the time.

Lack of Money… It is amazing how closely related these to causes of relationship breakup are. There can be heaps of reasons for a shortage of money; retrenchment, having to borrow for some unusual reason, arrival of children and the list can go on.

Whatever the reason in most all cases it causes tension, arguments can start easy, and sometimes one or the other are blamed. Then, can you guess it? Of course you can…Back to the bedroom saga. When money problems come in the door love flies out of the window.

So what do we do about these two very big problems, if allowed to continue, if allowed to fester they will break your relationship/marriage.

There is one simple action that must be taken…Communication…Communication…Communication, You must talk about it, believe me there is an answer to be found if you discuss it. Not angrily, not just thinking of you but communicating with each other, listening and discussing each problem.

Problems are just that, and can be fixed one at a time by communicating with the one you love.

The charming man or the “available”woman we spoke of earlier is rarely what they seem, probably having come from broken relationships themselves. If you love your partner he/she are the best by far so communicate at all levels, never be afraid to talk.

There is help available online about relationship breakups by very experienced people that have been through these bad times. Never be afraid or too shy to seek them out if the problems are a little hard to solve. Solving them together can strengthen your love for one another

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