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Must Know Information For Girls Immigrating To The US On A K1 Fiance Visa

Thursday, 11. February 2010 17:33

No one can really prepare you for moving to another country. Even if the opportunities are outstanding, it is never easy to leave your own. Eastern European ladies who are to come to the United States on a k1 visa usually become very worried and sometimes even depressed when they are preparing to leave. They don’t know what to bring, what not to carry; they don’t know what to expect and what not to expect from your country or even from you. They are usually unfamiliar with the culture and often uncomfortable with the language. This is common for a woman entering the USA on a k1 fiance visa

An acquaintance who was coming to the United States on a K1 Fiance Visa asked her American husband-to be what she should bring with her, but the guy had no clue.

Regrettably, she didn’t know me or any other Russian women living in the U.S. back then, so she ended up bringing four suitcases full of completely unnecessary things which they ended up taking to goodwill.

The girl’s mother, an old-fashioned Soviet woman, said that since the guy was a bachelor for so long, he probably doesn’t have any pans or pots, so she convinced her daughter to take a heavy aluminum set of pot and pans. Imagine that! Unfortunately the immigration services is not good at this kind of help nor is immigration services good at referring couples to this kind of help.

Here are some pointers to avoid such situations as well as to reduce your bride’s stress and anxiety when she is arranging to come to the U.S.

1. Tell her not to bring pots and pans (just in case she has similar mother who is going to advise her doing so). Even if the only cooking appliance in your house is a microwave, don’t go crazy buying stuff because she will most likely know much better what to buy. Unless you are a chef, of course, but then you should have plenty of things to cook with.

2. Ask her to bring some pictures of her town, her dwelling, her apartment, her friends, her family as well as her childhood pictures. Out of all of my friends who came to the U.S. only one thought about bringing photographs (I didn’t either). You are so busy and so worried about documents, your trip and your future that you don’t think of these things. But then when you come here and your homesickness and depression kick in, you curse yourself for not bringing something so important. When you ask her to carry these photos, please don’t tell her that you are doing it to help reduce her future sadness. I hope I don’t have to explain why.

3. Tell her that she is not saying farewell to all her friends and family. Planes still fly across the sea, so she will be able to go back and visit her family and friends. This is a very important thing to remember, because it is much easier to say Goodbye knowing that this is not the last time you are seeing these people. Many women are shy to ask their fiancees whether or not they will be able to travel (and how often) and many guys simply don’t think about it.

4. As far as clothing goes, she really shouldn’t take her entire closet, because it will be cheaper to buy stuff here than to pay for extra luggage. Remember that Russian ladies like to dress up nicely, so if you are arranging to take her shopping, don’t take her to Wal-Mart. Take her to the outlets instead – Russian and Eastern European ladies love them. Just don’t forget to pay.

5. Don’t forget to tell her not to take any electrical appliances, because the voltage in the US is different and so are the electrical outlets. You can buy adapters, but they don’t always work well and it is too much of a pain.

To sum up, tell your bride-to-be to relax and not to stress out. She is not coming to an unpopulated island, but to a civilized country, where she can buy what she needs, where she can use a telephone to call her family and use the Internet to send them hundreds of photographs. She may know all this already, but it will make her feel so much better if you will reassure her of this.

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Category:How to Make My Relationship Better | Comment (0) | Autor: Misfit

Tolls Of War: Divorces In Military

Wednesday, 9. December 2009 5:02

Because of the pressure that military families face, the Pentagon just released rising statistics of divorces in the armed forces. There were approximately 3.6 percent in 2009 instead of 3.4 percent the year before. While divorces are growing, it was a minimal jump.

It’s unfortunate but simple to understand why many military couples turn to divorce. Especially with the war, many members of the armed forces have been deployed multiple times. The stress and time away from one’s spouse can twist everyday problems into key aspects in divorce.

Another problem many couples face is that after being in the war many spouses change and the couple can’t get past the changes. After war, many military personnel are injured physically, mentally or both.

In order to fight the rise in divorces the military has implemented programs to try and help couples work out their problems. The military remarked rises in divorce were low because the programs helped service members and their spouses settle problems and build up their relationship.

In 2001 only about 2.6 percent filed for divorce but now it’s 3.6 percent which displays the toll that the war has taken on military families. When couples are divided it’s easy for the problems to get larger and the drift to expand.

Both in the past and present divorces have been much greater for women in uniform over their male counterparts. In 2009, 7.7 percent of servicewomen went through a divorce in comparison to 3 percent of men. There are fewer women in the military and some of their husbands are not prepared for military life.

But as with all marriages there are “controllable and uncontrollable factors…but when you interject war, preparing for war, being at war, coming home and having to think about going back to war again…it has a tremendous impact on the family unit” remarked Joe Davis spokesman for Veterans of Foreign Wars.

Critics say the divorce rate is much greater than the Pentagon disclosed. One member of the service recalled that every time they were deployed a new batch of divorces would occur. Many think that the numbers are truly closer to double digits.

What could explain the difference in numbers is the fact that the data doesn’t count up actual divorces. Instead they take the number of married troops at the start of the year and the number at the conclusion of the year and take away the difference. But this doesn’t always calculate the same people because of recruits, retirees, and others that leave the forces. In addition the numbers don’t take into account the troubled marriages that are presently intact.

Military life can be extremely hard. Sadly the divorce rates are rising because of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars but the military has implemented programs to try and help couples resolve their problems but divorce rates are still growing.

About the Author

Diane Johnson earned a bachelor’s degree in Political Science from the University of Utah. She likes to write about the news, politics, college degrees, college online, and the college experience.

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Category:Uncategorized | Comment (0) | Autor: Misfit

How To Survive Your Spouse’s Affair

Thursday, 24. September 2009 6:11

In order to restore a relationship after your spouse has had an affair you may try the ploy:

“But I’ve changed, I’m a different person.”

And your behavior may have actually changed – some of the time.
You mistakenly may continue to accommodate in different ways or change your behavior to fit your perception of what he/she wants.

Here are some problems with this strategy:

You, most likely, have not changed at all but, rather, are in a
reactive mode by responding to your difficult situation by “grabbing at straws.” There is nothing really wrong with this. However, these changes usually lack staying power because they are born out of
reactivity.

You and your spouse both know it. Chances are that you will regress to your usual patterns as soon as the heat’s off; your spouse intuitively knows this. He/she, most likely, thinks: “This will never last;” then becomes very suspicious.

Also, your changes may be seen by your spouse as your attempt to manipulate him/her. He/she may perceive your changes as a Sneaky strategy to get him/her to re-commit.

Your spouse may start feeling “cornered” and will most likely resent them, even though they are what he/she has been demanding throughout your marriage. Then even more alienation may emerge.

In this scenario you will lose respect and your spouse will not believe you or even know what to believe ABOUT you. By this time, s/he is very confused about what s/he wants and by trying on altered behaviors, you only add to that confused feeling. You become CONFUSING.

People don’t want others trying to placate them. And if that is not true of your spouse as well, you may have to re-evaluate his/her fitness to be a mate.

Generally, spouses don’t respect the placation strategy because there doesn’t appear to be any “backbone.” There doesn’t appear to be any core self.

That is not very attractive.

The spouse often says something like: If you really can change so
easily now, why didn’t you change when I wanted you to years ago?

I’m afraid it’s too late now.

Sadness or resentment often emerges at this point when s/he encounters
your new behavior, thinking about what might have been, but
is no longer “possible.” Also, spouses having affairs often blame them on the betrayed spouse and/or bad marriage … don’t buy into it. Where circumstances and others can influence what we do, they don’t control it. Both spouses must take responsibility for their own behavior, right or wrong!

The best approach is to calmly re-commit yourselves to staying married within a framework of both of you assuming a fair share of your own responsibility for the problems and the solution. If that cannot be done independently it should be done through marriage counseling.
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Advice For Salvaging Your Marriage

Sunday, 20. September 2009 1:36

Every marriage has problems. Let me say that again: every marriage, no matter how perfect if seems on the outside, has problems. I want to emphasize this because many couples want you to think they’ve never had any types of issues with their marriage. And a lot of those same people want to criticize you for how you are handling your marriage. It’s my experience that the people who criticize the most are the ones with the biggest problems. They simply aren’t honest enough to admit it.

So if you are having problems with your marriage, what can you do about it? There’s no magic recipe or solution. These things take work. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. The question you need to ask yourself is this: is my marriage worth the work? Some people may say no and at least they are being honest. But most people will answer absolutely YES. To most people, aside from their children, their marriage is the most important thing in their lives and they will do almost anything to keep it together.

One of the first steps in repairing a broken marriage is tolisten to your spouse. Many problems start because both people want to talk but neither wants to listen. Sometimes having a partner who listens is all that it takes to make the other person feel wanted and special. So no matter how badly you want to butt in while your partner is speaking, hold your tongue and wait your turn. You’ll be amazed to see how this simple technique can work wonders.

Another step in fixing a marriage is to forget the past. Things happen in marriages; people make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others but we’re all human and we all deserve forgiveness. Now this doesn’t mean you forgive no matter how many times you’re hurt. If a person is continually hurting you emotionally, maybe they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with you. But if you truly trust your partner and you know that deep down they are a good person, forgetting past mistakes can help you move forward. But do not tell your partner that you forgive him or her and then keep bringing it up over and over again after the fact. Either you forgive or you don’t. There is no in between.

Finally, you need to be honest. Lies will kill any marriage. Even the small lies can balloon into larger ones. And once your partner loses trust in you, it is extremely hard to get it back. If you do find yourself lying to your spouse over and over, you need to take a hard look at yourself. Lying to someone is the same as disrespecting them. And if you continue to disrespect your spouse over and over again, maybe you aren’t mature enough to be in a marriage.

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Category:How to Make My Relationship Better | Comment (0) | Autor: Misfit

4 Definitive WaysThat Tells He Wants You Back

Tuesday, 14. July 2009 7:51

Getting over him was tough. But thanks to your friends and to your new found hobbies and distractions, you did get over your boyfriend, or rather ex-boyfriend. But then, for some reasons, you keep seeing him in unexpected places, your friends tell you they saw him here and there. And then you start thinking about him. You thought that probably, he wants you back but you are not sure. You’ve been hurt before and you definitely do not want to get hurt again. Does he want you back? How would you know?

It is quite easy to know if he wants you back. There are 4 signs that he wants you back. Take notice of these signs and then when he gets back into view, you’ll know he’s for real and he wants you back in his life.

1. He calls you and sends you text messages very often

Calling and sending text messages is one way your ex is trying to tell you that he still thinks about you. There is no other reason why he is calling you or sending those messages except that he has not yet gotten over you. Even if some of the messages seem to be nonsensical like the weather, how his day has been or the movie he knew you’d like, the point is that he simply wants to let you know that he still thinks about you.

2. He seems uncomfortable and awkward when talking with you

He may be harboring some feelings for you at this stage. He may be displaying some uneasiness when talking with you or refuses to look you in the eye. These are sure signs that he still has deep love for you and that he is unable to let go.

3. He has not started dating yet

Perhaps it has been 6 months or one year since you broke up and he has not yet to find a new girl. This is also the case with you. The problem is, he has trouble getting into a new relationship and your friends keep telling you that he woos and pursues girl who are similar to you in characteristics and traits. In this case, he still wishes to get back with you.

4. He frequently visits your old romantic spots

You may have avoided the places you used to go as lovers because it reminds you of good old memories. Yet, if you pass by some of your old hangout places and you find him there by himself then he is simply reminiscing about you.

When you see these 4 signs that he wants you back, ask yourself if you still have feelings for him? And if you do, why don’t you get back together again? You both be happier if you do!

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Category:How to Make My Relationship Better | Comment (0) | Autor: Misfit

How to Make My Relationship Better – 3 Easy Steps

Wednesday, 4. February 2009 15:58

How to Make My Relationship Better

Warning! If you don’t ask yourself “how to make my relationship better?” from time to time, you are in danger of becoming too complacent within your relationship and should remember to give yourself a tune up every once and awhile.

Here are 3 quick tips to get you back in step with your lover:

1. Stop Being Distracted – This can take the form of many things. Maybe you work too much. Nobody ever said, on their death bed, that they should have spent more time at the office! How about turning off the T.V. once and awhile? I don’t think a greater time sucker has ever been invented. The point is, take the time to focus more on one another. You won’t regret it.

2. Pay Sincere Compliments – Now this may seem easier than you think. The crucial thing is sincerity! Saying “that’s nice hon”, without looking up from your newspaper or sewing project doesn’t count. How about looking them in the eye and holding them by the hand and saying “have I told you how beautiful/handsome you look today?” You know what I am talking about…make it count. Bam! Brownie points galore. You will be surprised if you do it correctly and make it a habit.

3. Touch! – Believe it or not, most people do not do this enough. Human touch is one of the most important aspects of what we can do within a loving relationship. Did you know that if a human baby is born and is not allowed the touch of another human being (preferably the mother), that the baby will die? That’s right, I said DIE. This is a scientific fact! Hold hands, give them a message, stroke their hair. I can’t tell you how this simple act alone will help solidify your loving bond.

There you have it. 3 steps anyone can start with right now. Remember it is easier to think about these things and not take any action… Well what are you waiting for? Grab your lover and make them never forget that they are your everything!

How to Make My Relationship Better

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Category:How to Make My Relationship Better | Comment (0) | Autor: Misfit

How to Catch Cheating Spouse – 3 Behavior Red Flags

Monday, 2. February 2009 16:09

How to Catch Cheating Spouse

A cheating spouse is not something most of want to think about or even admit to. How to catch cheating spouse behavior is something we all need to be aware of. Worried that you aren’t seeing the red flags? Learn these sure signs that anyone can recognize and foil the affair right in it’s tracks.

Here are 3 behavior red flags to look out for:

1. Your Lover Wants to go Places Alone – While it might not seem like a big deal, make sure you monitor this behavior (especially if it’s out of character.) Trust is one thing however you will generally sense something uncharacteristic. The key here is not to act suspicious. Give your spouse plenty of room to slip up or become careless. This includes your partner staying out late for unexpected meetings or working late too often.

2. Waning Sexual Appetite – He or she no longer shows any true affection. Their sex drive decreases. While this can be a sign of advancing in age, you will usually have a gut feeling that something is wrong. Direct questioning will not usually offer any answers. If they are lying about someone else, they will lie when confronted about a new relationship.

3. Strange Calling Patterns – Cell phone calls in the middle of the night. Your home is suddenly inundated with strange phone calls coupled with whispered conversations, or your partner suddenly panics and hangs up the phone when you enter the room. All tell tale signs that something is up. Again, it’s important to remember to take notice but don’t confront until you have all your ducks in a row.

It’s interesting to note that all of these behaviors seem like pretty common sense things, and they are.

The point is that you have to pay attention. Don’t be oblivious. What you don’t know can hurt you and your family. Take the necessary steps in recognizing how to catch cheating spouse behavior right now.

How to Catch Cheating Spouse

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Category:How to Catch Cheating Spouse | Comments (1) | Autor: Misfit