There are many things you can do to deal with breaking up that will firstly help you and allow you to be a stronger person during the time, and also potentially put you in a position that could well save your relationship, ie prevent your breaking up. Ultimately, prevention of breakup is the end goal, but the following techniques will also help to put you in control of you.

When coping with breaking up it is important that you try and remain in control of your feelings when you are in the presence of your partner. There will be time to break down and cry, or whatever once they are out of your presence. But while there, it will make you appear stronger and also more attractive. After all, no one is going to enjoy being around a sad person crying all the time. As much as you may feel this way, try and hold it back until such time you are able to.

Of course, none of us are perfect, and do not berate yourself if you do break down in front of your partner. It is so hard not to, especially going through this. It’s just better if you don’t, that’s all.

So, here’s seven good tips on what to do or not to do.

1. Never ask family members for help – this means asking from your partners side of the family. Remember blood is thicker then water!
2. Speak to your partner in brief statements – don’t give much of your position away, and if you can, get them to do the talking, you may learn a lot about how they are feeling.
3. Do not spy on spouse – this means checking texts, emails etc, you could up getting very hurt and then saying things you might regret in retaliation. Remember if you get out of control, you’ll have slim chances of saving your relationship.
4. try not to say “I love you” to them – as much as you want to, as much as you need to, just don’t do it. It won’t be reciprocated.
5. Act as if you are moving on with your life – Sometimes this can really help in getting your partner back, as they begin to realise they are not centre of the world.
6. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive – this will give your ego a kick and boost your self esteem, with the result of making you more attractive too.
7. Do not wait on your partner – get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc

Of course, everybody’s situation is different, so it is advisable to work out how to apply these techniques into your life before implementation. Applied well, they could make the difference to deal with breaking up or not.

Using these techniques can actually help you to get your ex back and prevent the end to your relationship. I hope these great ways to deal with breaking up help you to come to a place of peace within your relationship and more importantly to yourself.

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It’s been a crap of a year. You’ve broken up, you’re alone, either with kids or not. That time of year is coming where families get together, have fun, share gifts, enjoy each others company. They love and be loved. Christmas is supposed to be a time of happiness and joy, a time to come together, but for many, it is a time of sorrow, a time of reflection and a time to be lonely. The Christmas depression is here.

That first Christmas in particular can be so very hard. Normally you’d be looking forward to it with so much relish and anticipation, instead you are dreading it. It’s the first major holiday without him or her. What is there to look forward to? What is there to celebrate? What can one do to get through it?

Well, the first bit of news I have for you is that the first can be very brutal, BUT once this is out of the way, it does get easier. The second is easier, the third even easier and so on.

But there are ways of combating these first holiday blues to make for a more pleasant experience.

1. Break the cycle. Do something different to what you would normally would do at Christmas time with your spouse. Be brave, do something you have never done before.
2. If you have all your decorations, just get rid of them. Break the tradition. Of course, the theraputic way is to reverse over them all in your car. But you are kind and nice, so take them to your local charity shop and donate them.
3. Having got rid of your old decorations, buy some new ones. Buy ones you actually like. And decorate your home in a totally new and different way.
4. Spend more time with friends and family over the festive period. If you have friends far away, invite them to stay at your place for the holidays or vice versa. Just don’t be alone, ok?
5. If you are able, look at doing some volunteer work, maybe at your local church or mission if you are that way inclined. Remember, there is always someone in a worse situation than yourself and it can do you as much good to help them.

If you have children with you, although it will be tough, for their sakes as well as your own, try and make it a special time. It will be different, you cannot change the situation you have been put in, but what you can change is YOU and your attitude towards it.

I have spoken to many people in this situation and most agree, starting a new tradition is the way to go. One even commented that it’s amazing how trying something new, something different, can be so much fun.

Above all, take control over your Christmas, shake it up and create new and exciting traditions. Redefine yourself and your new life.

Are you finding yourself not coping very well? If so, please visit coping with breaking up to find out great ways to get your ex back. But for now, just make sure you are not spending your first christmas alone.

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