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So, you’re thinking of calling your ex? Whether you are recently broken up or you’ve been apart for a while, there are a few important tips to consider when talking to someone who was once your love.

Tip 1: Ask yourself why you want to call. Before you pick up the phone to call your ex, be sure you have an intention. Make sure there’s a reason. Maybe you’re calling to just say hello, or maybe because you’d like to invite them out for some coffee. You need to make sure that you have a purpose and that you aren’t just calling on an impulse. This will show your ex that you are thoughtful and in control of yourself.

Tip 2: Don’t call repeatedly. If you call once or twice and your ex does not answer, don’t give into the urge to call over and over. If they aren’t picking up it could be for a million different reasons. Give it a day or two, and if your ex doesn’t call you back, you might want to think twice about calling them. If calling you back is not important to them then you just might want to let things be.

Tip 3: Keep conversation light. If you’re thinking “Should I call my ex?”, the most important thing to remember that on the phone is the last place you want to fight your battles. When you’re talking on the phone, keep conversation light. If there’s something really important you need to talk about, set up a time to meet when you can have the conversation in person. Fighting over the phone gets ugly fast, and having someone hang up on you or ignore your calls can be especially frustrating!

Tip 4: Don’t bombard them with questions. “How come you didn’t answer last time I called?”…”Where are you right now?”….”So who are you hanging out with these days?”… These are all the kind questions you want to avoid when calling your ex. If you get them on the phone and make them feel like they’re in a police interrogation, they will definitely get annoyed and want to hang up on you! The less you pry into their life, the more open they will be and the more information they will volunteer on their own.

Tip 5: Show genuine interest in how your ex is doing. Whether you’re talking to an ex, or a friend, or a relative, everyone loves it when someone else takes interest in how or what they are doing. People just love to talk about themselves, so give your ex a chance to do so. It’s good to ask how their job is going, if they have gone on any trips lately, if they have heard any cool music, etc. You can bring up a story that may have been on TV or in the paper and ask them what they think. This is different than asking nosy questions. Ask questions that you know your ex would like to answer, and pretty soon you’ll be having a lovely conversation!

So If you’re thinking “Should I Call My Ex?”, keep these 5 tips in mind to help you avoid conflict and make progress in your relationship!

Should I Call My Ex? More tips, advice, and the secret that got my ex back to me in just 2 weeks!

Vera Linden is a writer and artist from New York City and has been writing on relationships and break up help since 2006.

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