Info On How To Stop Divorce
First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, “how can I stop my divorce?” you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to find a new space of emotional stability and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.
This might seem a challenging step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the topic of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to come to grips with what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.
If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.
It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.
Listen we all know how tough it can be when even a minor relationship item comes up but when you are faced with divorce it can be overwhelming and emotionally draining so you have to try and find a balance where you can approach the situation with the best outlook that you can muster.
You also have to be willing to do some problem solving with your own life. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.
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Wednesday, 18. February 2009 13:57
“Mature and calm” is the trick! I have seen more attempts to save a marriage completely taken apart by emotional outbursts and temper tantrums, followed closely behind by manipulation and threats. Avoid those, stay calm, and your chances are exponentially better.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
author of Save The Marriage
Wednesday, 18. February 2009 16:18
Thank you Lee. Sage advice from a real life relationship doctor. Thank you for reading!