It is entirely acceptable for you to be down in the dumps when your lover chooses to end the relationship and move on with their life, detaching it from your life. Many people remain sad for long periods of time but decide to accept the break up as final and learn to live without their ex. Then there are some who allow the pain to permeate every facet of their lives and begin to disappear into a shell. All of these people have the common desire in which they want to get ex back but only a handful decide to make sincere efforts for rebuilding the relationships.

If you have decided that the person is worth the effort and you are ready to give your relationship another shot, this article will help you to bridge the gaps between you and your lover without making you causing you to lose your pride or acting irrationally out of desperation. It is important that you refrain from constantly contacting and running after your ex. It is basic human nature to withdraw quickly from any situation in which you are being forced or pressurised. Hence, if you try to talk to your ex too soon after the split up you will make them feel like they are being put in a spot. You may be looking to smooth over troubles or rationalize your past behaviour or even just to tell them how much you need them, but the painful reality is that if they have chosen to walk away from you, they must have some reason that makes them think they need to be without you. If it is permanent or not will be greatly determined by the manner in which you act in the time after your split up. Therefore, it is important to let your ex have the distance and space they obviously demand in stead of forcing them even stronger, which only make them want to get as faraway from you as soon as possible.

Your ex will be expecting you to conduct a little desperately, so the first step would be to completely surprise them by dropping of their radar for a while. It is important that you do not contact him or her for some time, in stead, concentrate on your life and occupation. You should use this time to be involved in projects and activities you didn’t have time for before, and for meeting new people or catching up with old friends who you had lost touch with. It is a time for you to develop as a person and you should make the best out of it to get back into form on all levels. While you will be tempted to reflect about what went wrong, the truth is, if you focus on yourself and improve, your ex will also want you more. This is the waiting period, and you should have enough willpower not to break untill the end.

When you will stop running after your ex to get him back, they will always notice a difference in the way you act and your absence will make them think about your whereabouts. Giving a person space is most of the times the better way to make them realise your value as absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder. So they will remember all the things that made them fall in love with you when they reach for you, it will be with a positive attitude.

The hard part is when your ex reaches for you. It is crucial that you answer to them, but do not make it look like you are accessible. You should be cool and unemotional but not so much so that you begin to appear disinterested. Playing hard to get helps a lot but it is up to you to estimate just how far you want to drag it. However, if you are cordial without being intimate, your ex will decidedly be inspired to try tougher to get behind the walls of mystery and connect to the individual they fell in love with.

This situation should be a part of your initial goal setting, but it is also only the first step in a long road to get your ex back

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