Two people are sitting across from each other making small talk and giggling nervously at the small gaps of silence. They are on a first date and for the life of them, they both wish that they had a clue of how things were going. Straight out asking sounds like you are asking for a job performance review or worse; it sounds pathetic and needy. So, how do you know how things are going then? How do you read your date’s body language?

Is your date making eye contact at all? Is it warm and inviting contact or is it menacingly intense and kind of creepy? The eyes are the windows to the soul, they should be your first clue to success or imminent failure. If your date has not looked up from his plate a single time or worse, is openly ogling the waitress, the date is not going well. On the other hand, if he looks up, makes eye contact, smiles and then resumes eating, you might just be doing okay.

Now, onto more intensive clues. Has your date initiated or reciprocated physical contact at all? Or, has every brush of flesh on flesh been met with a violent jerking away and look of sheer horror? If your dates is stroking your arm as she talks to you, she is more than likely expressing an interest in you. Look for the touch of connection: she puts her hand on your chest or your shoulder and the other hand on her own chest. It is a subtle signal, but an effective one. Of course, she could also be inordinately proud of her own cleavage too.

Ladies, has your date placed his hand on the small of your back as you walked into buildings? This is usually a gesture of protectiveness. Properly done, it is a sweet signal that he is a caring man and only wants to take care of you. Done wrong, it is a face slappable movement that I  believe is called a “booty grab.” Remember that guys: small of back= perfectly fine, sweet gesture; booty grab=face smack and potential angry lecture.

Of course, male or female, gay or straight, the question that begs answering is: do I get that first kiss or not? That is where able to read body language can be the most important. Is your fiddling with her lips? Maybe popping mints left and right and smiling at you? (If she is popping mints and not smiling, she might be ill, so ask if she is okay.) Watch for her to start looking at your with slightly closed eyes, like a sleepy cat. She may tip her head slightly while talking to you. She may even reach out and brush imaginary crumbs from your chin. The signs are all there, the lights are green, so kiss her. You can learn exactly how the date went by that first kiss.

Did she pull away slightly and give you closed lipper? Or, did she lean into the kiss, pressing herself, chest to hip to you, sighing as she did? If you got a leaning kiss, the date went really well and you are probably on track for a second one. If you got a closed lipper, don’t despair right away. Perhaps you rushed things a bit. Wait and see if she wants to get away from your right away. If not, then you might have a second shot at a less restrained kiss. Wait a little bit, do some more body language reading. So you blew the first kiss, so what? You can always blow her away if you time it right for the second one.