Well, what have you gone and done. You’ve made a right old mess of things, haven’t you. So you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back? Everything was going along so well, you’d been together for ages and what happens? She ‘does the bolt’.

It doesn’t matter whose fault it was, and it really doesn’t matter what led up to it. All that matters is “How do you get your ex-girlfriend backwin back your ex girlfriend?”

So how DO you get your ex girlfriend back?

Well the first thing that you don’t do is something stupid. You don’t go out on the town with your mates. They’ll lend a sympathetic ear and show you a good time, but you’ll all end up half cut and they’ll “try to help” by introducing you to a ‘lovely’ lady in the bar and you know what’ll happen next, don’t you?

That’s right – guilt, just to add to all your other problems. Let alone the hassle of trying to get out of bed, get dressed and get out of the house without waking her! That, my friend, is an art that takes a long time in the making. Look at you, you’re a wreck. You’ve no idea what to do next. Not a clue. You can’t concentrate on anything, you don’t even care about anything and to be perfectly honest, you are boring everyone to tears. Sure, everyone feels sorry for you, but you have to do something constructive.

Making constant ‘phone calls and sending hundreds of text messages is NOT constructive. Nor are hip expanding boxes of chocolates. Tasty, no doubt, but in these circumstances, less than useless. What you’ve got to do, and I know that this will be difficult, is to harness what little you have left of your “brain power” if you ever want to find out how to get your ex girlfriend back. Not only getting her back, but getting her begging to come back. And she will. But only if you play your cards right.

Although you may well feel the need to call her ten times per day, this is only going to make her see you as needy. It’s going to turn her off, even if she feels sorry enough for you to carry on taking those calls.

Make sure that you cut off all communication until you know what plan of action you are going to use. Think things through, are you acting out of pride or real, true desire to be back with your ex girlfriendwin back your ex? Knowing what you truly want is the first step you should be taking. Take the time out to really sit down and think about what you want. If pride is driving you, then you really shouldn’t be treating her as your possession.

Here’s what you DO have to do. You have to stop running around like a headless chook chasing its own tail. {Yes, I know it’s a mixed metaphor, but who’s writing this article?}
Remember, I’m the one who’s trying to show you how to get your ex girlfriend back.

You have to make a cup of coffee, not a beer, a cup of coffee, get some paper and a pen, sit quietly, no TV, and work out a few things.

You have, firstly, to work out why she left in the first place. Make a list of things that you did that she was always mentioning. They might not seem important things to you, but women are funny creatures. Always remember, Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Did she always comment about your smoking in the house? Maybe she didn’t nag about it, but it was obviously on her mind. OK, stop smoking in the house, better still, give up smoking altogether. This will impress her no end.

The most heinous crime that any man can commit, in the eyes of a woman, is to leave the toilet seat up. Truly and without a doubt, this has been the cause of countless relationship break-ups.

Practice lowering the toilet seat. It’s quite easy once you get the hang of it. Grab the top of the toilet seat with your right hand and gently lower it. Don’t drop it or it will make a very loud crash and frighten the cat. There, that was not too difficult, was it? Now, about going to bed with your boots on…

Your list may be short or it may be long, but what you have to do is change these “bad habits” BEFORE you try to win her back.

It’s no use at all ringing her up and saying “I’ll change”. You have to change first, THEN ring her up, casually, and have a chat, mention in passing that you’ve stopped smoking etc. How you’re going to bring the toilet seat into a casual conversation is your problem, not mine.

Don’t be in too much of a hurry to make contact. I know it’s hard, but two can play the “hard-to-get” card. If you wait for a few weeks and master the toilet seat thing, when you do call her, the call will be greeted, not with annoyance, but with relief on her part. After all, she may have given you the elbow, but she’ll still be wondering how you’re going.

Now you’re starting to get the upper hand. But you still need help. Big time help.

You do deserve to be a winner, don’t you?

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