Relationships should provide growth and comfort for both partners. If you feel like you no longer desire to be in a relationship, and feel ‘trapped’ because of your partner, you need to resolve to leave. No matter if your relationship is 2 months or 10 years old, sometimes you suddenly realize “This is not working out”. Maybe you’ve realized that the relationship is unhealthy, or maybe you just feel like moving on.

You should never feel like you’re stuck in a relationship, staying solely for your partner’s benefit. This isn’t only unfair to you; it’s unfair to your partner, who needs to find someone who truly wants to be with her. It’s your duty to let your partner know about your feelings, as keeping your feelings to yourself will only cause more pain for both of you in the long run.

Still, sometimes it’s not so simple. If you partner is needy and clingy, telling them that the relationship is over is a conversation that you’ll find any excuse to avoid. This is why so many guys are stuck in unhappy relationships. Don’t let that guy be you! As opposed to allowing the relationship to go on forever, you need to start sowing the seeds that will enable the break up to happen. Although it might seem difficult, the only obstacles are the ones which you create for yourself.

Firstly, you have to decide with certainty that it really is the end. Even if you’re already sure, it’s important that you don’t rush into anything without giving yourself at least a week or two to think the situation over. This will help you prepare yourself mentally, as you will be able to have your ‘case’, and answers to her questions, ready. At this time, you can summon up some of the power it’s going to take to follow through.

After a week or two, tell her straight that you’ve decided that you need to end the relationship. If she’s at all ‘unstable’, doing this by phone or by writing a letter or email is probably best. Yes, that’s right – a letter or email may be the most appropriate way to do this. Despite what every other break up article says, sometimes it feels impossible to break up in-person, and it’s better to do it over the phone or through a letter than to wait several years while you build up the courage.

Tell her that it is something that your mind is made up on. Tell her that you don’t regret your time together, and that you’ve felt this way for a little while, and you know that she’d want to do this as soon as possible. Be direct and honest, but don’t be cold and heartless. Don’t get hung-up on trying to answer all her questions – sometimes the answer is simple, “Sorry, I don’t know why I feel this way, but I do”.

If she wants to persist in talking about it, you may have to tell her that you no longer wish to discuss the decision, otherwise you may be talking about it forever. Don’t suggest that you can still be friends as that rarely works out well, especially in these circumstances.
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