It’s never easy to get back with someone who has broken up with you. Sometimes it is simply not possible. In many cases it is possible to get back with your ex, but you need to approach things in the right state of mind. Often, all that’s needed is to follow some set rules. It’s to do with doing certain things and not doing other things.

1) Have a positive outlook. Rid yourself of any negative ideas, either about him or about yourself. Get rid of any extreme emotions. Hatred, a desire for revenge or simple misery will do you no good. Clear your mind and tell yourself that you’re strong and confident and that you are going to succeed. Letting him see that you’re not falling apart without him is a step in the right direction. If he sees that you’re totally dependent on him, you’ll drive him even further away.

2) Forget about the old relationship you had. You are aiming to start a new relationship with him. Forget about what once was. Your old relationship didn’t work, so stop obsessing about it. By all means think about what was wrong with it and consider what you can learn from it. Don’t make the same mistakes again. Live in the present and aim for the future.

3) He needs time away from you. Resist the temptation to write, text or ‘bump into him’ for a while. Don’t go to places where you are likely to see him. Keep away from his friends, or, if you can’t avoid them, show them that you are fine. Your boyfriend has rejected you, so you need to give him time to be without you. If you pester him you will only drive him even further away. It also looks desperate and needy, neither of which are attractive. How can he begin to miss you if you don’t leave him alone?

4) Make a change.. Do something new. Seek out new people and new experiences. Change your hairstyle, get some exercise or change your wardrobe. You’ll feel better about yourself and it will let him know that you’re getting on with your life without him.

5) Give it time. Your old relationship didn’t come together overnight and neither will your new one. Don’t rush into things blindly. Look at what went wrong. Give yourself time to let your emotions settle down. Getting back with your ex boyfriend will take planning and a clear, calm head.

Assert your independence by getting on with your life. Give your ex boyfriend the time and space he needs to adjust. Seeing you being happy, strong and sure of yourself will do him good. The result you are hoping for is that he will realize how much he misses you. This is a positive step in the right direction and gives you something to build upon.

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