If your relationship is headed for a breakup or divorce, it may be your goal to get back together. If so, you have probably spent countless hours looking for techniques on the Internet. Excellent idea! That shows you understand that trying to regain your partner on your own will be full of adversity along the way. I too have done my fair share of searching for relationship techniques. What I have seen (and maybe you have as well) are ads or advice on saving your relationship fast.

Get Your Partner Back Fast, but Will It Last?

This statement just about says it all. You have probably seen the promises; “get back together in 5 days”, ““reconcile your relationship in 3 days”, ““get back with your partner in 5.75 minutes”! Now I am not saying that this is not possible, but you need to examine your relationship and what led to the relationships current state.

Something Has Changed

Relationships do not go from happy and healthy to totally irreconcilable overnight. Something changed along the way. In some cases it is because you do not have enough common interests with your partner. In other cases the behavior of one or both partners has changed over time. You no longer treat each other in a way that shows how much you care. There is also the horrible event that caused the relationship in to a breakup. One thing is for sure; something went horribly wrong along the way.

If You Find What Broke, Then You Can Fix It

Have you ever taken your car to the mechanic with some sort of bizarre performance problem? You tell them that it makes this sound, or sometimes it does this or does not do that? Well, the mechanic starts to troubleshoot; looking for the root cause of the problem. A relationship in trouble is very similar. There IS something wrong and you must begin troubleshooting until you find the problem. After you know what really “broke” you can start to make repairs.

But I Want To Get Back Together Now!

Can you reconcile your relationship fast? Probably so, but what have you changed? What makes you think that the same problem will not happen again in the future? A mechanic that looks at your car and says they can not find anything wrong can get you back on the road again very quickly, but how long until the problems resurface? Getting back together fast without addressing the root cause of the problem is a good way to end up stranded in the not too distant future.

But I’m In Pain and Want Some Relief Now

I know what you are talking about. I was in this same situation. My marriage of 20 years was heading towards divorce and I was in pain and confused. I could not eat, could not sleep and could not find joy in anything. All I could think about was how I could reconcile my relationship. That is when I started gathering as much information as I could. While all I wanted to do was to save my relationship, I knew that if I did not address the root cause of the problem I would be putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb.

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