It’s been a crap of a year. You’ve broken up, you’re alone, either with kids or not. That time of year is coming where families get together, have fun, share gifts, enjoy each others company. They love and be loved. Christmas is supposed to be a time of happiness and joy, a time to come together, but for many, it is a time of sorrow, a time of reflection and a time to be lonely. The Christmas depression is here.

That first Christmas in particular can be so very hard. Normally you’d be looking forward to it with so much relish and anticipation, instead you are dreading it. It’s the first major holiday without him or her. What is there to look forward to? What is there to celebrate? What can one do to get through it?

Well, the first bit of news I have for you is that the first can be very brutal, BUT once this is out of the way, it does get easier. The second is easier, the third even easier and so on.

But there are ways of combating these first holiday blues to make for a more pleasant experience.

1. Break the cycle. Do something different to what you would normally would do at Christmas time with your spouse. Be brave, do something you have never done before.
2. If you have all your decorations, just get rid of them. Break the tradition. Of course, the theraputic way is to reverse over them all in your car. But you are kind and nice, so take them to your local charity shop and donate them.
3. Having got rid of your old decorations, buy some new ones. Buy ones you actually like. And decorate your home in a totally new and different way.
4. Spend more time with friends and family over the festive period. If you have friends far away, invite them to stay at your place for the holidays or vice versa. Just don’t be alone, ok?
5. If you are able, look at doing some volunteer work, maybe at your local church or mission if you are that way inclined. Remember, there is always someone in a worse situation than yourself and it can do you as much good to help them.

If you have children with you, although it will be tough, for their sakes as well as your own, try and make it a special time. It will be different, you cannot change the situation you have been put in, but what you can change is YOU and your attitude towards it.

I have spoken to many people in this situation and most agree, starting a new tradition is the way to go. One even commented that it’s amazing how trying something new, something different, can be so much fun.

Above all, take control over your Christmas, shake it up and create new and exciting traditions. Redefine yourself and your new life.

Are you finding yourself not coping very well? If so, please visit coping with breaking up to find out great ways to get your ex back. But for now, just make sure you are not spending your first christmas alone.

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