How to destroy own happiness? This question shocks at first. But in actual fact each of us knows a couple of answers easily taken from a private experience and from life of friends.

Yes, we, for whom relations is a supreme value, bring the feasible contribution to their destruction.

How does it occur? And the most important thing: how is to avoid it?

Let’s consider some of reasons doing us enemies to ourselves.

1. We are women with too many hang-ups.

Ideals of beauty actively spread everywhere have led to that we at times too seriously concern own lacks. The body given to us from a birth becomes a receptacle of complexes.

And here if your young man mention that you should go in for sport (and after all really it is time!) – dismantling is inevitable! Next time he, of course, will keep silent.

But the hung in mid-air sensation of vagueness and impression that you are not going to change for the better are not the best companions of good, serious relations.

2. Deliberate demonstration of lacks.

Other extreme measure is too frequent mention of the lacks. «I am such thick!»; «do not look at me, I am terrible!»…

More often these statements are a naive way to hear a compliment. But it is not necessary to abuse with it. After all, man is not alien ambitious vanity. This vanity extends and on perception of women.

Better to say, your young man wishes to see you beautiful and to think that he has the nicest girl in the world. In due course he ceases to notice those lacks that you see day by day. Is it necessary to remind him of them once again? Perhaps, it is not necessary.

3. Absence of self-irony.

The self-irony even gives to lacks special charm. Psychologists say that self-irony – the best way to avoid the conflict. Ability to laugh at yourself allows quickly and without consequences to discharge difficult conditions.

4. Absence of a distance.

Personal space – concept that only starts to enter into our life. The zone of personal rest from time to time is necessary to each of us. In a life we name this condition “to be alone”.

If you or your young man does not have right to personal space any attempt to stay alone for some time is interpreted as dislike display.

You take offence that he does not wish to spend time with you; he complains that he can’t have a rest. Or on the contrary. This misunderstanding is better for eliminating at once. Here we can’t speak about some ready recipes, but you should remember – the reasonable distance should be observed.

5. Desire always to know of what he thinks.

It is special case of intrusion into personal space. When a question «Of what do you think?» sounds too often, there is an ambiguous situation. On the one hand, he would not like to deceive you. On other hand – he should decide himself what to think about. Sometimes to tell the truth – means, to be misunderstood.

And then: you after all necessarily will ask: «And why do you think of it?» He understands that he should answer.

6. Tactlessness.

The tactless girl – the terrible weapon in struggle against relations! She prefers directly and aloud to state everything what she thinks. On the one hand, it is correct – to say everything what you think. But, on other hand – it is important how and when you do it.

Try not to do mistakes and you will save your happiness for many years!

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