Family Without Quarrels: Seven Councils.
1. Be interested in the partner.
Try to learn him better: to be interested in him, his opinion, and his hobbies. Try to learn not only his merits, but also try to understand his weaknesses. It will be difficult to contact to people and of course with the partner to person, who is interested only in own problems. The understanding of another considerably reduces number of occasions to aggression display.
2. Listen to your second half.
Ability to listen attentively provides good contact to people and often is more valuable, than an ability to speak. And the family in this case is not an exception. Do you “pour out” on the husband who has come back from work a never-ending stream of the information about everything, sometimes even not good thoughts? Do not wait for establishment of favorable psychological climate in a family. In a similar situation the husband needs to be silent and concentrate only on thoughts, which he hoped to share with you. At first listen to the husband, and then share the problems.
3. Speak about things, which interest the partner.
The speaking person should feel that the interlocutor listens, and also watches a course of your thought, understands it. Therefore it is necessary to care of that the spouse was interested in the conversation maintenance.
4. Do not abuse criticism.
The criticism is a boomerang, which always comes back. If we start to criticize, it is possible not to doubt: to us will pay back the same. When the wife says to the husband that he is unshaven and looks bad, she can hear in the answer: «At first look at yourself as you look». The criticism should include and positive elements, it should not touch advantage of the partner, and is faster “push” him to self-criticism. It is not necessary to do critical remarks in the form of attacks, the criticism should not be a straight line: criticizing the partner, it is necessary to praise simultaneously something positive in him.
5. Be more cautiously with orders!
The majority of people do not love, when someone orders to them, reminds of their duties, especially it concerns matrimonial relations, marriage where partners feel equal. To avoid spontaneous, natural resistance to orders, it is necessary to give them the shape of a question or the request for the help.
6. Admit your errors.
If in due time to admit the errors and to correct them, you can avoid the quarrel or conflict. When we voluntary take up as an error that literally is not an error, we can successfully seize a conflict situation.
7. More often praise and slightly idealize your partner.
Usually we abuse that is not pleasant to us. When something is pleasant to us, we are more often silent. If husband likes a dish cooked by the wife, he eats it silently. When the meal is not pleasant to him, he starts to state claims. From the point of view of matrimonial tactics everything should be on the contrary.
In conversation it is better to idealize the partner a little, to speak about him so as if he already became such how we would like to see him.
Love each other and don’t be angry because of trifles!
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