Dealing With Retaliation Catch A Spouse Cheating, Are You Guilty Of This Error In Judgment ?
When ever I hear about partners which might be being unfaithful on their partners, the first impulse would be to feel for the spouse that does not know. You understand, the one that is living their life inside a utopian-type of existence, fooled from the premise that their spouse is as dedicated and faithful to them as they are.
It’s a cozy feeling, seeing and reading of other couples infidelity problems, not thinking for a second that it could be occurring to you.
Until actuality bites…
If the reality of cheating or mistrust has injured your romantic relationship, bite back:
Catch A Spouse Cheating
It usually is a steady feeling of unease, a noticed brief moment of eye contact between your spouse and some one else, a remark out of context by a close friend or colleague, a story that doesn’t quite add up. But in that brief moment, the foundation of confidence placed in your spouse and marriage starts to crumble, and you want to catch a spouse cheating.
After the initial shock that it could even be happening, many people vow payback, vengeance, and one of the more common tendencies when it comes to payback is the temptation to have an affair in retaliation.
A retaliatory affair appears to be probably the most improbable thing to do, taking into consideration the agony the first affair induced, but it surely seems to be a growing phenomenon, at least through the reasonably limited study I have done with members who have kindly offered feedback. To be honest, a retaliatory affair was the very last type of reaction I’d have anticipated.
Sure, the frustration is real, much like the emotions of hurt and disloyalty, but oddly enough many men and women who spoke to me were determined that they would not be seen as victims. Far from it, in fact, quite a few were determined to get back and do it in such a way that their companion may feel a lot of the hurt that they felt at the time.
Let’s not pretend. Each one of us have times with our lives when we see someone who we consider to be very good looking, sometimes a beautiful face, a beautiful smile, a beautifully proportioned body, or perhaps a self-confident manner that seemed both charismatic and magnetic. Attractive people are everywhere. Yet it would never be expected by us to take our initial attention or attraction to a person so much that we would contemplate stepping into a sexual relationship with them. After all, being married is really a commitment, a promise of fidelity, a vow to honor each other.
We view beauty, but we don’t feel the compulsion to act upon it.
Then again when your partner departs from this commitment in such a shocking and hurtful manner, it simply leaves many curious about their beliefs, and even their fidelity. If their fidelity has led to them being cheated on and hurt so badly, surely it is ok to sleep with someone else to ‘even up the score,’ so to speak?
That co-worker that has made fleeting eye-to-eye contact with you at the copier machine, the shop assistant that’s inadvertently flirted with you, the friend of a friend that’s made a point of conversing with you at parties and comments on your looks, an ex whose information you still have or remember, all of these individuals are now potential play pals. After all, if it’s good enough for your spouse to do it, surely there’s nothing wrong with you executing it too?
Usually the one determination of people in this position is that if they are going to have an affair they’ll do it better and with someone hotter.
Now I’m not saying all victims of cheating find themselves carrying this out, because many don’t. But the knee-jerk response is to go out and experience an affair as well is a common reaction that many people seriously consider and follow through.
Your first reaction ought to be to remove all doubt:
But does sleeping with another person truly make the cheating hurt less? Can it make you feel better? Or is it one of those issues you do during the time that you later live to regret?
I’m not planning to tell you whether it’s wrong or right, as it is a judgment call that you both are called to produce as you comtemplate a realistic look at infidelity in your marital life.
But if it is something that you are seriously contemplating, have you given it plenty of thought? How will you feel at the moment you’re cheating on your spouse? How are you going to feel after? Is it possible to live with the knowledge and the consequences of one’s actions?
For most, it is a ‘yes.’ But for many more, it brings an entire new raft of issues to what has already been an emotionally-charged situation.
Interesting thought though. Is retaliation such as an affair okay or not? Will it make you feel better or worse?
For further advice and information, check out How to Catch a Cheating Spouse at:
Catch A Spouse Cheating
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