When Relationship Is Over- Moving On With Dignity
Monday, 31. May 2010 21:24
Breaking up from a relationship of any amount of time can make you to experience pain and depression for quite some time. When a relationship is over we tend to experience guilt and blame ourselves. At a time when your emotions are very fragile this is the not going to help you at all. You will only feel worse about the situation and start to glorify your ex like they are superior to you. This in a nutshell is what makes an ending relationship have such a dramatic effect on people.
Sulking about the past and begging your ex to take you back usually has an adverse effect that makes things worse. In order to move on with dignity you need to know that you may not be able to control what you feel, but you can control how you act.
Putting your best foot forward may seem to be like putting a band aid on a large open wound, but it has highly beneficial
psychological effects. Here are three tips everyone should know about how to move on with grace when a relationship is over.
AVOID External Happiness
Most people go out and party every night and drown their sorrows in clubs and bars following a break up. Some may turn to drugs or prescription medications in a vein attempt to feel good about themselves again. This approach can get very costly and very dangerous in a hurry.
Getting drunk and having sex with anyone you can may sound like a lot of fun, but we all know where this leads. Passionless relationships from one night stands, babies, sexual diseases, etc… This is not the time for that. In
addition this will not help save your relationship in the future if you choose to go that route.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying a night on the town with your friends to have a few drinks after a break up, but don’t over do it. People are not aware of how fragile their emotions are after a break up and what kind of lasting psychological effects that can have on you. Do not engage in any sexual or other relationship type endeavors just yet.
Love Yourself Again
Finding that internal peace and love of your self is very important. In relationships we become emotionally dependant on our spouse to give us love. In any relationship you need to give your self love as well.
A huge part of this is avoiding your ex for a while. I know this sounds awful, but persistently begging them to take you back is not a sound strategy. Even if it works it would be out of pity. Unless you have children or a business together avoid your ex as much as possible for a while. If this seems too tough to handle check out this technique to get over your ex.
Rebuild any lost self esteem and strive to attain your own personal goals outside of any relationship. You can be a part of the team when you are with someone, but never lose your personal identity. Its this loss that makes us feel disconnected when we are not in a relationship. Like a part of us is missing.
This may sound bizarre, but try it! Every morning when you wake up look yourself in the mirror and say “I love You” to yourself. Believe me, I cried psychobabble too, but this actually works!
These words trigger endorphins in your brain that make you feel good. Thats why it feels great when others say these words. If you are skeptical that this works there is only one way to prove it.
Re-evaluate Your Relationship Goals
What defines a successful relationship for you? After being with some one for a while we often forget about our personal relationship goals.
When you were first dating it was probably cute and funny that your partner did things a little differently than you would, but after years of being together some things may annoy or leaving dirty dishes in the sink that have literally ended marriages!
These are issues that may or may not need to be worked on, but your relationship goals are your needs or big points for a relationship to be successful in your mind, not the little things. Evaluate your goals and take a realistic look at the relationship.
Often times people find that their mate was more than meeting their relationship goals, but bothers them with small quirks in their personality. These minor issues will come up no matter who you are with, but they are more pronounced when you see that person everyday. If you find that this is the problem try being more tolerant. Remember that no one is perfect.
When relationship is over and you are forced to take a good hard look at yourself, do not be so critical. Even if you did make mistakes, every relationship takes two people to function. Avoiding your ex for a while and beginning to love yourself again is crucial to moving on with any kind of dignity.
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Category:Getting Over Break Up Advice | Comment (0) | Author: Misfit

































